VBB 314: Lauren Wellbank - A Journey From Fear To Freedom!

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Virgin, Bitch, Podcast, Inspiring women to overcome social stereotypes and share unique

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life experiences without fear of being defiantly different.

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Your hosts, Christopher and Heather, let's talk, shall we?

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November 25 marked the official launch of the United Nations annual 16 days of activism

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against gender-based violence.

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The campaign continues through December 10, which is human rights day.

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Virgin Beauty Bitch continues to support this initiative through conversations with women

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who have been victims of abuse.

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This week we welcome freelance writer, essayist, copywriter and public speaker Lauren

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Wellbank to Virgin Beauty Bitch.

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Welcome Lauren.

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Hi, thank you so much for having me.

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We are absolutely thrilled to have you.

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Now Lauren, your writing is deeply personal and revealing of a time when your life could

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easily have ended at the hands of a man you loved.

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So I believe most women would want to bury those memories in hell if they could.

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They definitely wouldn't be working hard to have them published.

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So why is it so important for you to write and talk publicly about these experiences?

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I happen to realize just how lucky I am to be able to tell this story because so many women

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in my position just simply don't survive.

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And even the ones that do don't necessarily ever get out of those relationships.

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So I kind of feel like I owe it to the people who can't tell their stories, to tell this

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story and hopefully give other women who are going through this, the idea that there is

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another side to this.

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You can get out.

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There is life after this.

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It doesn't have to be the big part of your story.

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This can just be a little piece of it.

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I cannot imagine how many times you've heard this from women.

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I can never allow myself to be treated that way or I'll never understand how women end

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up in these relationships or why don't they just leave.

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What can you say to women who are on the other side of where you were?

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So one thing that I always say and I begin any conversation that I have about this,

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and when I'm just revealing it casually to a new friend, this relationship started the

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same way every other relationship in the world starts.

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I didn't know that I was getting into an abusive relationship when it started.

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So I wasn't deciding to get into this knowing how it was going to turn out.

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He was not a monster from the beginning.

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He wooed me.

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We knew each other for years before we even started dating.

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So it's not that women are consciously choosing this.

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And then once you get into it and you realize that you're in danger, it's incredibly hard

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to get out and it becomes incredibly dangerous because you're putting your life on the line

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half the time.

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So when women say, "Well, I could never let somebody treat me that way or I couldn't believe

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you didn't leave the first time he hit you," it's way more nuanced than that.

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It's so complicated and it was, "I tried to leave."

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And when I tried to leave, he tried to kill me.

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So it's not a matter of just saying, "Okay, I'm done.

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I washed my hands at this relationship and then I can walk out the door.

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There's so much more to it.

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And unless you've been in it and seen it, then you don't know that."

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Just looking at that, some of the stories and it's really exemplified in what you just

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said there, that the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when

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that person decides to leave.

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And just how important having a safety plan in place can help in order to make that transition

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once you're ready to do.

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So would you mind sharing with us what that process was like for you, for listeners that

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potentially are in that circumstance?

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So I'll tell you, I tried it both ways.

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I tried to leave the first time and the night that I told them that I didn't want to be

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with him anymore, that I wanted our relationship to be over.

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He tried to kill me.

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He strangled me until I was on the verge of blacking out.

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He put my head through all.

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It was a very violent moment that I was lucky to escape with my life.

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I did leave for a little bit and that's when I was able to tell my family.

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I finally felt like now is the time I could open up about this because for a little bit of

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time I thought that I was over dramatizing everything that was happening.

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Maybe it's not that bad.

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Maybe all relationships, people fight, men are jealous.

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It's just something that happens.

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I didn't let myself realize just how bad things had gotten until that night and everything

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escalated so much.

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So then I did tell my family and unfortunately I did what so many other people in my position

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do.

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I went back to him because once you get away and they try and woo you back, then it's they're

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going to promise you the moon, they're going to change.

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They never meant to hurt you.

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This was the eye opening moment that they needed to realize that they couldn't keep going

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this way.

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So we ended up back together.

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And then that second time that I left, I told my parents, I had to admit first that I had

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gone back to him, but then I told them what was going on and they helped me.

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And we called the police.

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They came out and I filed a report.

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Then I went to court and I had to get in the state where I live, a restraining order is

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called a protection from abuse order.

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So I had to go to court and I had to file for one of those.

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They issued me an emergency one that day and that gave me 48 hours of protection and then

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I had to actually go to court with a lawyer and sit down in a courtroom and get a permanent

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one.

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And I truly believe that having the support of my parents and having the support of the

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police because the officer who came when I called knew what to say and he knew exactly how

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to convince me, you need to file this police report and then you need to go and you need

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to file for a PFA because he's going to kill you.

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And he looked at my parents and said, if this was my daughter, this is what I would do.

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And you should do this with her right now.

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That is so encouraging me.

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Amazing.

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Because we always hear about the police and we hear about their, you know, disinterest or

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their belief that there's nothing they can do because whatever it's domestic, that is

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so encouraging to hear that a police officer actually took the initiative to look out

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for you.

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Yes, and it's unusual.

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I know that that circumstance is unusual because more often than not, when they go into

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a domestic dispute, they're already both people are part of the problem.

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So I think that a big thing that saved me is that we weren't together.

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What I called the police physically, we weren't together.

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So it's not like he's standing there saying, well, she did this and I'm getting worked

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up trying to defend myself.

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The situation had already been a little diffused.

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And the officer who came out had the correct training and that makes a huge difference too.

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Yeah, I think from experiences and some of the research I've done and countless personal

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stories with loved ones, you know, the training for officers in order to not make the situation

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worse.

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And I think they're predominantly, you know, in North America, there has been attempts

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at the very least to get better training for officers to not let traditional or outdated

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rhetoric supersede the reality of what's going to help a person in that circumstance.

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And then the other thing that I hear from a lot of people who are trying to leave is that

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the police are still viewed as a very, I don't know, extreme option.

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They're worried potentially that their partner could go to jail or to be deported, etc.

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And so for them, finding a women's organization in order to help them with a safety plan and

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not having to get the police involved, there was an option for them that that was very

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helpful considering in some areas, it's not on the individual to say if that person's

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going to be prosecuted.

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If the police are called in some jurisdictions, they just will be prosecuted.

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That's correct.

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So that keeps a lot of people from knowing what other resources are available to help them

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before.

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As you've said, I think that what some parents and what some loved ones don't, and even

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the person in the abusive relationship themselves want to believe is that that person can and

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will kill you.

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And sometimes from other stories, you never think that that person's going to take it

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to that level.

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But I was reading and alarming statistic around the first time that an abuser will actually

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physically hurt you, could be the time that they kill you.

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Yes.

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And you love that person and you don't want to believe that they're capable of that.

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So that also helps them because you have that thing in the back of your head.

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He loves me.

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He doesn't mean it.

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He's not really going to hurt me.

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This is going to be okay.

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And that only hurts victims because we're convincing ourselves.

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We're telling ourselves the lie.

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So evil catch 22 because when you're in love, you have hope and you have forgiveness

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or whatever it is for this person who on the other side of that, you is unpredictable.

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And there's nothing you can know of how far they will go in order to hurt you.

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But love is kind of the buffer in between there that keeps you close.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, because you also, you want to hope that things are going to change and get better.

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Because you love that person and you want to spend your life with them.

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Or you want to spend your life with the version of them that's not hurting you.

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Because that version does exist.

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Yeah.

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You said something interesting also about social media that had social media been what it is

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today.

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You may not have had what it took in order for you to get out because of all the opinions

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that social media offer as well.

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So it's interesting because when the whole Johnny Depp thing happened with Amber Heard,

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that was very eye-opening for me because people treated it like a spectacle.

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It was a joke.

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It was entertainment.

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And that's how it was viewed by people.

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And I unfortunately had a front row seat to a lot of people who I love and respect, making

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light of the topic.

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And we live in a time now where we know everybody's opinions and innermost thoughts, unfortunately,

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because they share them on social media.

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So seeing people talking about how horrible the person she was or how she should have known

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better or anything like that, that's detrimental to somebody's ability to step out of that relationship

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because now they feel like the problem.

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They're embarrassed.

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They're getting it, what feels like from all sides saying, you brought this on yourself.

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This is your problem.

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You must have done something to cause it.

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And social media has played, unfortunately, a really big role in kind of protecting abusers

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and shielding them from the blame because now we get to watch the women's story and know

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what she did wrong.

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And it would definitely have made it difficult for me to leave.

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And cancel culture on top of that?

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And cancel culture because there's that fear that you're going to ruin somebody's life

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by speaking badly about them.

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Quote unquote speaking badly about them, but telling the truth is going to hurt them worse than

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what they're doing to you.

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But I feel like, oh, sorry.

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No, go ahead.

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I was going to say I think that we've come far enough as a society where we have seen how

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little cancel culture actually works and how many people do bad things and don't suffer

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consequences for it.

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So I think that's kind of a myth that also protects abusers of bad people and they can say,

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oh no, cancel culture.

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I don't want to be a victim of that.

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But as we've seen, there are so few people who actually fall victim to that.

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Yeah, I mean, it just really rings true from you right now with the presidential election

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in the States and the rhetoric that had already been circulating, but it got a huge uptick

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with your body, my choice.

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That just tears my heart apart.

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It's like you said, you know, when people can't be held to account and then achieve the

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highest office in the world.

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It's hard to see between the lines of that.

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And I just really commend people with resiliency and strength like you because everyone who shares

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their story gives, I think, that next person a little bit of hope or a little bit of strength

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in order to call out what they're seeing or not allow the gaslighting to continue or to

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just see a different piece of the story.

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So those are the things that give me hope.

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So and I have to say, when I shared my story, I was hesitant to do it because it is such

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a deeply personal thing and I still carry to this day.

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There's still some shame and embarrassment about what happened.

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And I was a little hesitant to put that out into the world because now everybody knows

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my biggest secret.

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And after I did that, I was contacted by when I tell you hundreds of women came forward and

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they told me their story and some of them were people I've known my whole life.

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And I never knew that they went through it too.

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And having me go out there and say, this is what happened to me.

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It gave them the ability to say it as well.

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And I had people that I love telling me that they also went through something similar.

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And it allowed me to connect personally with people in my own life on a deeper level.

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And it kind of gave me the ability to when I see something and somebody else say something

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and say, are you okay?

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Is everything all right?

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You seem tense or it seems like things might be a little tense at home.

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So it does sharing that story kind of removed the secrecy of it.

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And it allowed me to show other people that it doesn't have to be a secret.

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What's happening to you doesn't have to be your secret that you're carrying alone.

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You can tell somebody.

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And hopefully the person you tell can tell you what the next steps are and what you can

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do to get safe.

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I mean, isn't this how this process works?

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It's you are in a situation where you are not the one in control.

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And then you're made to feel embarrassed about what you're suffering through.

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So you never tell anyone and the cycle continues and it just perpetuates.

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Isn't that the way it works?

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Yes, absolutely.

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The secrecy protects them.

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It doesn't protect us.

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So that's I think that's the biggest thing that we as a society have to break free of is

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the shame needs to be on the abuser, not the abused and screaming it from the rooftops

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and saying, like, I'm aware that I have privilege.

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I am white. I live in a nice area and I can stand up and say this and my abusers also dead.

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So there's no fear of repercussions for me.

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I am safe to do this and I know that there are women who aren't.

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But being able to stand up and say, this is what happens to me.

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There's good on the other side of this.

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Life gets better.

246
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You can get out.

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Let me show you the way.

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I think that gives people a little bit of confidence to do that as well.

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Do you remember the moment it hits you that there's all this wall of fear in front of me and

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00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,800
embarrassment and what have gone through?

251
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Do you remember the moment when it hits you that I have to break through this and I have

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to tell my story out into the open, out into the open?

253
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Do you remember what happened to you?

254
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I do.

255
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So I don't remember his name.

256
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:21,560
This is a ridiculous story but I was watching the news and it was Hope Hicks, was the president,

257
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President Trump's one of her advisors or something and she had begun dating this man and they

258
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were talking about how this man had a history of abuse and they worked together and that was

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00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,120
exactly what happened to me.

260
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I started dating a man that I worked with that I had known for years.

261
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He had a history of abuse but I didn't know because nobody had told me and I remember

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00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:46,440
watching the news and thinking did somebody tell her?

263
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Was there, it seems like it was the worst kept secret in the world that this man had a history

264
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of domestic violence?

265
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Did she know, did somebody tell her when they found out she was dating and it just was eating

266
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:03,520
at me and eating at me and eating at me and it like a light bulb went off and I can tell

267
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:10,520
her, not Hope Hicks but I can tell the world that there are men among us who are bad and

268
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it's not our fault and it's not our fault that we got into that relationship.

269
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So that was the moment and I know that it is an odd circumstance to be inspired by that

270
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:28,960
but that's exactly what it was and I just felt like it was something I could do at a

271
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time when I didn't feel like I had a lot of power.

272
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Thank you.

273
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,560
It is interesting.

274
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:43,720
The moments that just kind of hit us like that's the moment because I've in women who have

275
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:48,520
chatted with me around these relationships.

276
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:55,680
One of the things that I think they grapple with is if and when you're ready to share your

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00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:56,680
story.

278
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Again as you said with safety in mind and all of the revictimization that can happen around

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00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:07,160
where to place the blame and where society often does.

280
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So I've encouraged in the past just how she's feeling, like what she's ready for because

281
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I think sometimes there's a pressure to speak up because they don't want it to continue

282
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to happen to other women and I honor that and I think that there's like you said there's

283
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:33,400
something very powerful and not staying silent and the silence really helps the abuser.

284
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:38,800
But just for women who may be grappling with or anyone who's in an abusive relationship

285
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:45,920
grappling with how and when to share their story do you have some insights on that part

286
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:46,920
of your journey.

287
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,000
I would say that nobody's required to share their story.

288
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,840
Nobody's required to open themselves up in that way.

289
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,720
It's like slitting a vein and bleeding out.

290
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That it not everybody needs to do that.

291
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Not everybody can do that.

292
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Not everybody wants to do that.

293
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And I think that that's okay.

294
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But finding somebody I just recently started therapy three months ago.

295
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:15,480
I should have been in therapy years ago when all of this happened but I never had that

296
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:21,600
drive to go and as I've gotten older and become a parent I've become very aware of how important

297
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my own mental health is to the people around me.

298
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So I got into therapy and having somebody to talk to even if it's a therapist that you're

299
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:33,680
paying is something that everybody can benefit from.

300
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But I think that victims and survivors can especially benefit because then you can not

301
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only learn how to work through that shame but you don't have to tell the world.

302
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:49,720
You can just tell one person and that can help free your heart from that weight of the embarrassment

303
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:55,760
and the mourning and the grief because there was also there's a grieving process because

304
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:59,840
the person that you fell in love with who turned out to be abusive you grieve that person

305
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,360
that you fell in love with.

306
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:06,440
So it's just there's so many complicated layers to him.

307
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:11,480
So I would I would encourage anybody who is either in it or freshly out of it.

308
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Just all you need is to find one person to tell.

309
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You don't have to tell the world but if you find one person that'll help.

310
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,000
Well, let me ask you this question.

311
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000
So you have you have a couple of daughters?

312
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,000
I do.

313
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000
I have two daughters and a son.

314
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:29,200
As a mom with your experience and what you've experienced, how do you prepare your daughters

315
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:33,200
for their lives into relationship?

316
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,200
What do you do?

317
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,440
What can you say?

318
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:41,440
So one of the biggest things that both my husband and I push is that love shouldn't hurt.

319
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,760
And that doesn't necessarily mean physically.

320
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:48,880
If somebody makes you feel bad because they say mean things that's not love.

321
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:53,880
If somebody is physically violent, obviously that's not love either and we talk a lot about

322
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:54,880
consent.

323
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,800
Nothing should happen that you don't want to happen.

324
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,960
So we that's kind of the foundation.

325
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,200
So my oldest is only nine years old.

326
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:07,960
So she's still a ways away from dating but that's the foundation that we want them to enter

327
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:13,040
into all of their relationships with even friendships because nobody should hurt you

328
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,520
that cares about you.

329
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:18,080
So we want to just teach them that that's first and foremost.

330
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,680
And nobody deserves to be hurt.

331
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:24,200
So your parents love you but they never gave you that wisdom about it.

332
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,200
I don't know.

333
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:31,720
I'm very cautious about putting the blame on my on my upbringing because I don't think that

334
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,080
that played a role.

335
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:38,360
I think having a strong relationship with my parents and having parents who love me unconditionally

336
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:40,160
is what allowed me to get out.

337
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:46,640
I don't think that they did anything wrong that caused me to get into that relationship

338
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:51,360
but having them be the person, the people that they are helped me to get out.

339
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:56,480
So one of the ways that I think about domestic violence is like a car accident.

340
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,480
I didn't ask to be teaboned.

341
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,160
It just happened.

342
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,440
How you can't frame it as well.

343
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,320
I was raised wrong.

344
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:08,160
So I ended up in an abusive relationship or I had daddy issues.

345
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,440
So I looked for a man who would take control.

346
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:12,920
It doesn't always work that way.

347
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:19,360
It's kind of just some of the myths that we've allowed to be perpetrated about or that we've

348
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:25,760
allowed to just continue on about domestic violence because I think it's easier to believe

349
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:30,440
that than it is to believe that some people just want to hurt you.

350
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:35,840
Thanks for clarifying that because yeah, there is a myth about that and an understanding that

351
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,160
people don't really understand.

352
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:38,160
So thank you for that.

353
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:44,040
And I would also add, I am loaded with self confidence, probably a little more than I

354
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,640
deserve and it happens to anybody.

355
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,600
It really can happen to anybody.

356
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:54,200
It's not like somebody is looking for an easy target.

357
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,920
Usually it's just their bad people.

358
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:05,880
We love to ask our guests and I'm very interested to see what resonates for you but we like to

359
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:10,800
ask what does feminine mean to you?

360
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:18,280
Feminine means I would say nurturing and soft.

361
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,000
When I think of feminine, I think of clothing.

362
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:26,120
Like I think of dainty clothes that are very soft and pretty to look at.

363
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:31,600
So a very traditional view of what that word and how it looks.

364
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:38,240
I suppose I think that there's also a when you talk about things being feminine, it's

365
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:49,560
also very demure and it's very subjugated and it's a concept where like you be quiet

366
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:57,080
and you are reserved and so I don't think that when I think about feminine, I think of

367
00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:01,040
it and more as a feeling instead of a action.

368
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,040
Are you feminine person?

369
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,040
What do you say?

370
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,040
I would not say that.

371
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:09,320
I would say I'm a bit of a bull in a china shop.

372
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:14,600
We love asking that question because we get so many variants of answers.

373
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:15,600
It's very interesting.

374
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:21,960
We're always very interested in how women themselves hear and translate that word.

375
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,600
And I imagine that you get probably a different answer every time.

376
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:26,600
We do.

377
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:35,300
Part of the kind of foundations of the show is to understand what it means to women, like

378
00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:43,680
whether that's just what it's been traditionally or if they've remolded it to be something that's

379
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:50,920
more true to who they are or if elements of it has shackled you to be a certain way or

380
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:54,880
maybe you just completely broke free of those shackles and rejected the word.

381
00:24:54,880 --> 00:25:02,120
All of those things we find very interesting on how to not see it one way and so that's

382
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:03,880
why we appreciate your thoughts on it.

383
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:04,880
It's a good question.

384
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,880
I like that.

385
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:11,000
It's a question we find that women live under but never ask themselves.

386
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,000
That makes sense.

387
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,000
Right?

388
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:18,000
You just assume this is what I am because gender tells me that's what I'm supposed to be

389
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:22,600
or I reject it and I know what it is but I'm not that.

390
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,280
So they're all these variants.

391
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:33,960
So for people who don't know, learn Wellbank, what's the best way to get to know your work?

392
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:38,920
You can Google me and there's a lot of really fun stuff and a lot of really embarrassing stuff

393
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,520
that will pop up.

394
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:48,720
I have been working on a memoir about my life as a victim of domestic violence and I have

395
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,960
written several personal essays about it.

396
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:56,200
So it depends on what you're looking to learn about me because you can find that or you can

397
00:25:56,200 --> 00:26:02,200
find stories about my traumatic childbirth and all of that.

398
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:09,000
But I'm doing my best to take some of the things that have happened to me and to tell those

399
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:14,920
stories so that other people who are going through this don't feel alone because unfortunately

400
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:20,280
so many of us keep these hard things to ourselves because of shame embarrassment or because

401
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,360
we've been taught not to talk about that stuff.

402
00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:27,600
And I know that that is not all that you do and all that you are.

403
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:33,040
So what are the things do you present out into the world that people can look for?

404
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:34,040
If you Google me

405
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:38,560
you will notice that I write a lot of how to's and explanations on how to do stuff.

406
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,560
Yeah.

407
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:45,840
That's what I'm talking about is like there's stuff that you offer that's universal to anyone.

408
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:46,840
So.

409
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:47,840
Yes.

410
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:48,840
There's a lot out there.

411
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:49,840
Just Google me.

412
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,840
I like that.

413
00:26:51,840 --> 00:27:00,520
Lauren, we, this is always a difficult topic to talk about because we're getting beneath

414
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:07,680
the skin down to some dark spaces where people have been in their lives.

415
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:14,320
But as you say and you've said in your writing that it's important to talk about these things

416
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,760
because you're not alone in whatever it is you're going through.

417
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,760
You may feel like it.

418
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:24,240
However, there's someone else who's gone through what you've gone through and have come out

419
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,200
the other side.

420
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,440
You're one of those people who has come out the other side.

421
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:35,480
And it's important that people like you share where you've been.

422
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:42,840
So we can't thank you enough for having that courage and taking a path that few people

423
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:46,640
will take to share where they've been as far as their hurt is concerned.

424
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:53,200
So we cannot thank you enough for taking time to expose that part of yourself because of

425
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:54,600
what it can do for others.

426
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:55,600
We appreciate that.

427
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:59,560
Well, and thank you for giving me a platform to do it because hopefully if only one person

428
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,480
here's the sooner needed to hear it, I hope that they get a chance to listen to my story

429
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,000
and know that they're not alone.

430
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,000
Amen.

431
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,840
That yeah, it was so wonderful to meet you and thank you again for your insights.

432
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:13,440
I'll be checking you out for the how to and everything else.

433
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,560
So I really appreciate your time today.

434
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:17,560
Thank you.

435
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:21,840
And we're going to put this on on YouTube because you people need to see your smile.

436
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:23,840
Your smile just lights up the world.

437
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:24,840
It's like amazing.

438
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:25,840
Thank you.

439
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,880
I actually do hear that a lot.

440
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:28,880
Thank you.

441
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,240
So you got to check that out.

442
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:33,240
You got to see Lauren smile.

443
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:34,240
It's just beautiful.

444
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,040
So thank you so much.

445
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,040
Thank you.

446
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:40,280
And you have been listening to the Virgin, the Beauty.

447
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:41,280
and the Bitch.

448
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:42,280
You got to find us.

449
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:46,920
And like us and then you want to share us and then you want to come on back with all your

450
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:47,920
friends.

451
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:56,560
To become a partner in the VBB community, we invite you to find us at virginbeautybitch.com.

452
00:28:56,560 --> 00:29:00,760
Like us on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.

453
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:07,400
And share us with people who are defiantly different like you.

454
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,360
Until next time, thanks for listening.

455
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:10,360
Bye.

456
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,940
(upbeat music)

457
00:29:12,940 --> 00:29:22,940
[Music]