VBB 301: Christopher & Heather - Beauty's Myth!

Intro [00:00:01]:

Virgin Beauty Bitch Podcast: inspiring women to overcome social stereotypes and share unique life experiences without fear of being defiantly different. Your hosts, Christopher and Heather.

Let's talk, shall we?

Christopher [00:00:20]:

Beauty. It is a very personal word that grew into a social construct that evolved into a billion-dollar industry offering promises based on faith, like a religion. Beauty is all these things and more, all at the same time. Beauty is at the heart of our podcast name because it still remains very personal. So, starting September 22, the Autumn equinox, no less, we will launch our beauty series. It's not so much about how to look good but more about how to feel good about yourself. In a world that mercilessly judges women on a beauty scale. Are we looking forward to that, or are we looking forward to that?

Heather [00:01:07]:

Are we ever? Christopher, I mean, in our journey together on this podcast, this is a theme that just comes up in so many different areas of life, and, you know, the shackles that women continue to feel because of different beauty standards throughout various eras, and certainly with how filters and being airbrushed and all of those things continue to permeate into our psyche of how we should look. I can't wait to dive into this one because Christopher and I have really digested what the four different episodes are going to uncover and unravel. So, how do you feel about giving them a little sneak taste of what we're thinking?

Christopher [00:01:59]:

I think you should do that. But first, I want to ask you a question.

Heather [00:02:03]:

Okay.

Christopher [00:02:04]:

How old do you think you were at what age do you think you were when beauty became something substantial in your identity?

Heather [00:02:15]:

I would say it started really young with the importance placed on being pretty. And so I would say that the hold of being pretty above other attributes, I started to feel probably as early as five, which wasn't so great for me because I was more of a rough and tumble kind of little girl who loved to play, and I wore my. I loved wearing dresses, but I would get them torn and ripped, and I definitely didn't fit into the box of. Of sit still, look pretty, and be a good girl, sort of, I guess expectations.

Christopher [00:03:03]:

Why am I not surprised to hear that?

Heather [00:03:11]:

I mean, I think that it came from a lot of different layers. I think you start to feel very young, what the attention can give you from being pretty, from everything from the boys or girls that you like to favoritism in school or in extracurricular activities. So it becomes very apparent very quickly how powerful a force it can be in a young girl's life extremely early on. And I can only imagine what it's like for young girls now because when I was a young girl, I didn't have social media, you know, I didn't have the relentless comparisons. I don't know; I guess keeping up with the Joneses or keeping up with the standard that you like, you get to escape school once you go home. Right. You don't have to continue to face those same battles. But it's a very different reality now.

Christopher [00:04:11]:

For young girls age five. I don't think boys can understand that pressure at that early age on that particular piece that becomes part of your identity, of proving yourself. Just thinking of that age and that element added to it, that is, that blows my mind at that age that it's so significant.

Heather [00:04:43]:

I think it really detracts from, you know, the. And I think that things have shifted a lot, but at the time, it really, you know, detracted from just pursuing the things that I actually loved. Right. That gives a lot of time and freedom to just being a kid and having fun and all those sorts of things. So I'm glad I, even though I understood and more and more, it built on how powerful I was, want to say how powerful a weapon it can be or. But, yeah, it was just.

Christopher [00:05:18]:

That is the right word because I'm writing a blog right now on the weaponization of beauty. That is the right word because it is a weapon. There's a switch in how it's a two-edged sword that women have at their disposal. And history has made it so valuable to a woman's identity that it's something to be pursued. However, once you're in pursuit of that, you now become the victim of beauty. It's weaponized as an industry towards women. So it's a two-edged sword, but weaponized. And weapon is the right word.

Heather [00:05:59]:

Yeah, I love how you've said that. And it's funny that we were on the same mind. Wave. Maybe not so funny because that's how we roll. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. It's like it can be your weapon in, I guess, how you can cut through social statuses into the work world, into relationships. It can be a weapon to change your lifestyle. But at the same time, as you said, the weapon is a double-edged sword.

Heather [00:06:29]:

Then the swords pointing back at us because the standards are so outrageous and, you know, aging and our body changing is just the inevitable. So it's bound to leave us feeling failed or inadequate or not enough.

Christopher [00:06:48]:

So I'm glad we had this little discourse because I think once people hear the word beauty these days, it's about you know, facial products, hygiene products. It's about medical procedures. That's how we perceive the word these days through these avenues. However, the psyche of it, the psychology of it, the social pressure of it, some of it is so ingrained and so innate that we don't even notice it. We just follow along the crowds, wherever that goes, as far as trend is concerned. And beauty, that is where we want to take this series, is into the ether, into the other world of what it does to influence so many women people. But women, in particular, is where it's aimed mostly. Those are the conversations that we are planning to have starting on September 22.

Heather [00:07:54]:

Yeah, that is an interesting practice to think of. What comes to mind when you hear the word beauty in today's world? And it certainly quickly brings to mind a long list of products that you need to buy in order to preserve and protect the moneymaker. Exactly. Thank goodness there are so many different avenues for women to make money that, you know, I'm being facetious in saying that to build on what Christopher is saying. When he and I were thinking about the direction that we wanted to take this four-part series, we wanted to go back in time to understand when and how beauty became such a pivotal aspect of a woman's life. And so, in episode one of the series, we're going to be going back to before there was Beauty, which will be an anthropological look at the origins of beauty's initial debut at the scene of human beginnings. So we're going, like, way back into looking at what was esteemed or sought after, all the way back to the first humans.

Heather [00:09:20]:

What were the most desirable traits in order to find a mate? And when in human nature developed beauty.

Christopher [00:09:29]:

And this important element that seems to override all others in our society today?

Heather [00:09:40]:

Moving into episode two, we see exactly what Christopher was talking about the psychology of beauty. So, the establishment of what men wanted the feminine to be pleasing to the eyes, ears, and senses. Ugh. And explore the stigma of beauty and beauty standards across different types of cultures.

Christopher [00:10:03]:

Yeah, that's. I mean, that's where we are. I was just reading the Beauty Myth, and it lays it out with such depth. It's mind-boggling, really, the industry that we've created around beauty.

Heather [00:10:22]:

I'm looking forward to this one because we're planning on touching on what different cultures over different eras have found beautiful in women. So everything from feet being tied to be really small or a lot of necklaces placed on a woman's neck in order to make her neck longer, these really physically life-altering expectations, how and why, and how that's affected the standards of what women should look like.

Christopher [00:10:54]:

Yeah. What is beauty, and why do women buy into it?

Heather [00:10:59]:

It's passed down from moms and grandmas, and they drink the Kool-Aid and make sure that their daughter has the best shot at securing a mate. And then, episode three is about the addiction to beauty and big business. So that is going to be an episode where we get to explore the real and affirmed power that comes along with being beautiful because we're not shying away from the fact that that is a true reality, and we want to unpack it to give it ultimately less of a hold on women's lives, to come up with their own definition of what makes them feel beautiful and to kind of really bring to light just how big an industry this is and how it's permeated into the minds of women across the globe.

Christopher [00:11:49]:

We're not going to ask you to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to rearrange your physical self through surgery. We're getting serious, we're getting into an area beyond just put on a little blush and let's go.

Heather [00:12:06]:

We're talking fillers, botox, makeup, perfume, surgery, corsets, you know, lingerie. We're gonna, we're gonna go into all of the things. And then, last but certainly not least, is beauty in the eye of the beholden? So your own beauty for yourself, the resolution that our external beauty is ever fleeting, and that to rely on it as the primary source of. Of sense, of self, of power, and of self-worth is truly a fool's game. So what, lay deeper to cultivate the feeling of what beauty brings?

Christopher [00:12:45]:

Yeah, that's. It's about self-awareness and self-love. It's about self. And unfortunately, the standards of beauty cannot have you thinking about that. It has to have you chase something outside of yourself in order to feel that you are beautiful. What if you turned that energy inside? What would that look like? What would you find? And how much more of a satisfying life might you lead if that were the case? So it's just exploring what beauty might have been or might be for you as an end result, should a person choose that as their goal. So that's where we're going. That's the road we're taking.

Heather [00:13:34]:

Yeah, there's a lot of layers to get down to that final, you know, that piece where you can really self actualize into feeling beautiful regardless of what your external looks like. That's going to take some peeling back of the onion.

Christopher [00:13:52]:

You know what I'd love to do? I would love to have a conversation. And if anyone hearing this wants to participate, please get in touch with us. You can find our contact information on our website, virginbeautybitch.com. I'd like to have a conversation with someone or some individuals who have lived a life knowing and being affirmed of their beauty, and then have in contrast with someone who hasn't had that experience in life and finds out which believes their life has been tougher because beauty, we look at it as something we admire and think highly of, and we attach a lot of elements to the beautiful person. But is their life actually easier? Is their life freer? Do they get to escape any of the challenges that everyone else has to go through? But they don't get credit for that because of their beauty. They're just seen as beautiful. So life must be just a walk in the park. So I'd love to get that contrast of the person who has lived a life of assumed or assigned beauty and someone who, and others who have not and have that conversation between the two so they can compare notes.

Heather [00:15:19]:

That would be a fantastic conversation.

Christopher [00:15:22]:

So if anyone wants to volunteer and help us with putting those two stories together, we'd love to hear from you.

Heather [00:15:29]:

That would be marvelous. And I think that the other piece of the puzzle is how others perceive the lived experience of those having beauty, or under certain standards, versus those who don't, and how we treat people based on that.

Christopher [00:15:45]:

Exactly. Yeah. It's always in the back of our minds. However, it's so prevailing and pervasive that we don't bother paying any attention to it or giving it the conversation it requires or needs in order to be truly understood and for people to understand each other and their place in this hierarchy we've built around beauty. That's where we're going. We would love participation, obviously, in all of the conversations that we have with amazing people. In this series as well, we'd love to get feedback. Your experiences with the construct of beauty and how it's viewed in our societies. We are open to hearing from you and hopefully hearing your voice.

Christopher [00:16:34]:

That would be wonderful.

Heather [00:16:36]:

We'd love to know what role and relationship you've had with beauty. You know our listeners, so for a lot of people, it's a very tarnished relationship. So we want to. We want to dive right into that and hopefully find some healing on the other side.

Christopher [00:16:53]:

So that starts September 22. The autumn equinox is when that begins. So we welcome you to join us and reach out to us. Let us know where you're at with this topic. And we cannot wait to roll out some of these conversations that we are planning to have with some amazing people.

Heather [00:17:16]:

And may I also say, you know, when Christopher and I were looking at plans for this year, the autumn equinox is such a stunning time of year and really kind of helps paint the picture about the moments, the smells, the taste, the views that put us into awe and wonder about the world and really tapping into that beauty. So we're looking forward to this conversation.

Christopher [00:17:44]:

So that's it that we just wanted to give you an overview of what's coming up later in the month of September and invite you to join us. So, thank you for delving in here with us for these last few minutes. And you've been listening to the virgin.

Heather [00:18:01]:

The beauty and the bitch.

Christopher [00:18:03]:

Find us, Like us, Share us. Always be with us. We welcome you to become a partner in the VBB community. We invite you to find us@virginbeautybitch.com. Like us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, and share us with people who are Defiantly Different like you.

Until next time, thanks for listening.