Even if you're not a person impressed by statistics or moved by numbers, these numbers should make men pause and make women frightened: 1 in 4 women are victims of physical violence by an intimate partner, 20 women per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner, and in the US, 44 % of female homicides are perpetrated by a current or ex intimate partner,
The answer to what motivates men to default into violence and even take the life of someone beloved is sealed within the psychological profile of each individual. Even perpetrators typically have no explanation or logic to explain what's buried underneath their acts of violence. Diagnosis can be complex, but some have become household terms like emotional immaturity, chronic insecurity, a need for control, fear of being abandoned, unresolved childhood trauma, jealousy, hegemonic masculinity, or a belief that physical force is the answer to every challenge life presents.
One more stat that surprises no one: the US Department of Justice sponsored a National Crime Victimization Study to confirm that 75.6 percent of violent offenders are male. However, the Mentors in Violence Prevention co-founder and TED-Talk speaker Jackson Katz made this powerful observation. He argues that part of the reason domestic violence remains such a complex issue is because men, the apex offenders, have been excused socially from participating in the conversation.
In Jackson's words:
"We talk about how many women were raped, not about how many men raped women. We talk about how many girls are harassed in school, not about how many boys harassed girls. We talk about how many teenage girls are getting pregnant, not how many men and teenage boys got girls pregnant. The use of this passive voice has a political effect. It shifts the focus off of men and boys and onto girls and women. Even the term violence against women is a passive construction. There is no active agent in the sentence. It's a bad thing that happens to women, but when you look at the term "violence against women," nobody is doing it to them. It just happens. Men aren't attached to it!"
In short, men do the crime, but their victims make the news. Even when social movements like "ME TOO" make inroads into shifting the social narrative and media focus, that only inspires counterbalanced narratives like cancel culture.
"Have You Stopped Beating Your Wife?" That's an infamous loaded question that's long been used to embarrass and shame men publicly. Whether they answer "yes" or "no," it puts a question mark on a man's reputation. However, the fact that this trick question is still effective at shaming men confirms that in the public eye, even with male privilege, there is disdain for men who abuse women. Hitting women is not a free pass, which answers why abusers bully their victims into silence instead of outing themselves and seeking professional help. When men don't fess up, the onus falls on the victim to invent a solution.
If you're the woman in a violent relationship, or if you're family, a friend, or even an acquaintance, the ultimate solution on everyone's mind is for the abused to leave the environment and the abuser. Sadly, leaving is often the most dangerous move of all. Consider this last statistic: nearly half the women slain in the US are killed by their partners, and 75 percent of those homicides take place after a woman has fled the home and ended the relationship.
Why don't they just leave? It may sound like sound logical, but talking with Lauren Wellbank, a near-death survivor, shares the harsh reality of women trying to leave. VBB 314
Christopher
