Once upon a long time ago, at the dawn of humanity, when sticks and stones were the only weapons of survival in a hostile kingdom with savage beasts, men became hunters of those wild beasts as women became gatherers of low-hanging fruit. Triumphant men adorned themselves in the skins and furs of their prey - pelts from tigers, furs from bears - but women's only claim to warm skins and furs came off the backs of old and dying canines domesticated by the tribe. This folk tale is one of the many that attempts to decode how women found themselves related to the canine family and, specifically, how female humans became the Bitch.
However, the truth unfolded; it doesn't seem to matter as long as we remain transfixed by a dogmatic belief that female is to dog what womanhood is to Bitch. It's the stigma that keeps women leashed and under control. Truth, Bitch isn't about an animal motif, but if you want to keep the theme consistent with history, Bitches are women who throw off their leashes to take control of their own identity and destiny.
That might sound motivational, but Bitch is one of the most manipulable words in any language. In English, it's a noun and a verb, but in life, it's a word that stands for all things we blame for our misery.
- Life is a Bitch!
- Life is a Bitch, and then you die!
- Love is a Bitch!
- Hope is a lying Bitch!
- Pity is a Bitch I'd like to avoid!
- Winter is a Bitch
- War is a Bitch!
- Hindsight is such a Bitch!
You get the picture. We blame Bitch for everything in life that annoys, irritates, or disappoints us. We either overlook or don't care how the word eternally and universally curses women and womanhood. Intended or not, by proxy, every woman is made to shoulder the blame for all things that go wrong in life, the things we Bitch about.
Another remarkable aspect of the Bitch is how the word divides gender. Spoken by a man or boy, whether shouted or whispered, Bitch is meant to hurt, humiliate, shame, or dehumanize women and girls. For him, Bitch is a weapon, no different than a heavy stone or a sharpened stick used by our forefathers to bring down wild beasts. The word is intentionally used to inflict pain, to cripple, even kill the spirit of an adversary.
For women, Bitch is like the crack of a stone against her skull or the piercing of a stick into her heart. Bitch is personal and painful. You Bitch reduces her to an animal needing to be controlled, caged, muzzled, and leashed.
Being born the opposite sex, I could never feel a woman's personal experience, let alone the historical and psychological damage of a word used to dehumanize all womanhood. However, as a man of color, I know what sticks and stones wrapped within a word feel like when wielded as a weapon. Uniquely, the VIRGIN BEAUTY B!TCH Podcast is a platform where we ask women to share their relationship with the word Bitch. Three distinct patterns typically show up.
Compliance: the righteous feminine. Women who hold tight to traditional feminine roles and ideals of servitude and selflessness to serve, honor, and obey as wives and uphold the sacred mission of motherhood. Compliance, they reason, makes them the good girl and less a target for harsh words. Because these women sacrifice themselves to be less, it justifies the sharp disdain they hold for women who don't play the traditional feminine game — women they feel deserve to be called out as "those Bitches."
Defiance: the righteous feminism. Women who refuse to serve, honor, or obey. Instead, they act out their personal convictions. They'll step on toes to reach for their potential. They speak when not spoken to and will forgo wifery and motherhood if conditions don't favor a happy family. People may not like her, but they also cannot ignore her. She knows her priority and where her power lies. She believes women must earn the privilege of being called Bitch.
Confluence: the new femininist. No, femininist is not in Oxford. It's a new word for independent women strongly committed to self-discovery and self-expression. Women who incorporate within themselves the fluid qualities of "masculine" and "feminine." It's a confluence of strengths within women who see Bitch as a tool used to build herself and her tribe, not a weapon used to break or divide her from the world. It's women who have learned the art of becoming better at Bitch.
Divide and conquer is an ancient hunter's strategy. Bitch has been made a divisive word. Bitch divides based on gender and sex; it divides women from their valid strengths, females from each other as a community, girls from their potential as individuals, and womanhood from an unrealized promise of what it can bring into our world.
We - Christopher and Heather - as hosts of VIRGIN BEAUTY B!TCH Podcast, commit to conversations with women reformed from believing in Bitch as a shameful garment passed down as their inheritance. Contrary, they believe Bitch has been a deliverance from their darkest moments in life. Bitch transformed fear into courage, weakness into strength, but the true discovery was finding all these powers hidden inside the very word used to shame and dehumanize them.
Throughout December, leading into the Winter Solstice, December 21st VBB Podcast will host conversations exploring the Bitch from women’s perspective.
Christopher
